A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away

[donquixotenz]

The Black Panties

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mum! I have someone for you to meet.."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away..

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same- she stood there wearing the black panties,
and he was in his birthday suit-
but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences.."

 

[donquixotenz]

The Ageing Process
"I have become a little older since I saw you last. A few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old girl and I am seeing several gentlemen every day.
"As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed. Then I visit John. Next it is time for Mr Kellog followed by the refreshing company of Mr Tetley or his friend, whom I call just by his initials, PG.
"Then comes someone I do not like - Arthur Ritis. He knows that he is not welcome but he insists and, what is worse, he stays for the rest of the day. He does not like to stay in one place at a time so he takes me from joint to joint.
"After such a busy day, I am really tired and glad to go to bed with Johnny Walker. What a life.
"Oh yes, I am also flirting with Al Zeimer.
"The vicar called the other day and said that, at my age, I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I do that all the time. No matter where I am, in the bedroom, kitchen, sitting room or even in the garden, I stop and ask myself ... now what am I here after?"

 

 

[donquixotenz]

STUD ROOSTER

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
and I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever win s gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squalking
and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,
'Dammit.....third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this
story? ....

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!

[donquixotenz]

Two women were playing golf. One tee'd off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed over to the man and immediately began to apologise.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physiotherapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes", the man replied, although he was clearly still in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked "How does that feel?". He replied "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken."

[donquixotenz]

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQs



He created night for going fishing,sleeping

and BBQs,and God saw that it was good.

On theSecond Day, God created water - for surfing, swimming and BBQs on the beach and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide malt
and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fourth Day God created animals
and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQs, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQs, and God saw that it was good.


On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.
So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good .... well, almost good.

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good. It was better than that, it was bloody awesome!


IT WAS  AUSTRALIA !!!!!

[donquixotenz]

 
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Sherry.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the
cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, & finally died a
peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected
that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch
him in the act.. But instead, I found him all by himself in
the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there
somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic & searched, & down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet & checked under
all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,
& finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with
a heart attack & died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd
both still be alive


PRICELESS!

[donquixotenz]

CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.'

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
'FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE  'POWERGEN' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!'

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
'WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT'

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
'FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'FRIDGIDAIRE'
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!' SHE SAYS
'THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK'

'I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS', HE SAYS, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'TAYLOR WOODROW' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!'

SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS..................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, 'HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?'
SHE SAID, 'WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.'

HE SAID,
'SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?'

SHE REPLIED, 'HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE 'Earnest Adams' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'
 

[donquixotenz]

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing  nothing.

One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

[donquixotenz]

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress  is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."

"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

[donquixotenz]

Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women:

Boats only need their fluids changed every year.

Boats curves never sag.

Boats last longer.

Boats don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Boat any time of the month.

Boats don't have parents.

Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can share your Boat with your friends.

If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn.

If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have.

Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.

If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Boat.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat.

You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals.

If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.

Boats always feel like going for a ride.

Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.

Boats don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.

If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well.

[relaxed1]

  This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
 rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'
 choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


 Dear Mr. Thatcher,

 I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
 and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core
 or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
 dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach
 in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
 revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough
 to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell
 you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16
in my pants.

 Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you
 haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I
 can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just
 a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into
 what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'
 Isn't the human body amazing?

 As Brand Manager in the Feminine Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
 quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
 monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
 bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
 swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
 it's a tough time for most women.

 The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
 crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the
 reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
 painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
 opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
 were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

 Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
 middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
 happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
 above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
 you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'
 about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua
 and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the
 local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end
 your life in a blaze of glory.

 For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a
 moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
 something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

 Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
 immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
 chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
 certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
 brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
 Always.

 Best,

 Wendi Aarons
  Austin , Tx

 

[Shef]

[donquixotenz]

[Magoo]

Sounds like she needs therapy.

[Newtown-Fella]

Annette and Patti are outside their nursing home,
having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
  
Annette pulls out a condom, cuts off the end,
puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
  
Patti: What in the hell is that?
  
Annette: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
  
Patti: Where did you get it?
  
Annette: You can get them at any drugstore.
  
The next day, Patti hobbles herself into the local drugstore
and announces to the pharmacist that she wants
a box of condoms.
  
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed,
looks at her kind of strangely
(she is after all, over 80 years of age),
but very delicately asks
what brand of condom she prefers.
  
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
  
  
The pharmacist fainted.

[donquixotenz]

>
>
> Subject: FW: The Man Rules .
>
>
>   The Man Rules
>   At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
>
>
>   Finally , the guys' side of the story.
>  ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>   We always hear " the rules"
>   From the female side.
>
>   Now here are the rules from the male side.
>
>   These are our rules!
>   Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
>   ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1.   Men are NOT mind readers.
>   (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>   You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>   We need it up, you need it down.
>   You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
>   or the changing of the tides.
>   Let it be.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want.
>   Let us be clear on this one:
>   Subtle hints do not work!
>   Strong hints do not work!
>   Obvious hints do not work!
>   Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>   we do.
>   Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>   In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days..
>
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>   Don't ask us..
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
>   makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
>   Not both.
>   If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
>   commercials
>
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
>   Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> We
>   have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>   nothing's wrong.
>   We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
>    don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
>   Really .
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>   discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
>    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can -
> to give them a laugh.
>
>
> Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
>
>
>

[donquixotenz]

http://cid-6989c1ca6ad7f69f.skydrive.live.com/self.aspx/.Public/WhatOldPeopleDoForFun.mpeg

[Newtown-Fella]

The Funeral Procession


A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.
~
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
~
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
~
Be hind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
~
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be
a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?'
~
'My wife's.
~
''What happened to her?'
~
The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her'
~
He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'
~
The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her.'
~
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
~
'Can I borrow the dog?'
~
The man replied, 'Get in line.

[donquixotenz]

A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"
 
 "No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and
 gets off at the next stop.
 
 The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:
 
   "I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!"
 
 "Yeah?", says the hippie.
 
 "Yeah!", says the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God."
 
 The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
 
 "I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his
 face.  "Have sex with me."
 
 The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
 
 'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
 
 "Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"
 
 "Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!

[Im2Sexy4MyPants]

Chuck and Danny, went camping in the high mountains for several weeks. For so long in fact, that they grew tired of one another's company and began to quarrel daily. One morning Danny decided they should try a day apart and proposed that he walk West and Chuck should walk East.
Chuck agreed and they planned to meet back at camp at sunset. They set off in opposite directions with brisk strides.

Chuck returned first, started a fire and began to prepare supper. The sun was just a glimmer over the horizon and the first stars had begun to gleam before Danny struggled into camp with a weary smile. Tired as he was, Danny went for water and firewood, as the camp rules required. After supper was finished and the utensils cleaned, Chuck began to talk about his day.

"It was a wonderful day, my friend," began Chuck. "I walk farther up the mountain than we've ever been. About noon I found a wonderful little valley with a lovely, cold lake. I skinny-dipped a while, quietly ate some lunch and watched the animals come to drink and wash. Then I dressed and came back to camp. All in all, a great day."

Danny was real quiet like a man trying to hold on to a pleasant thought until Chuck asked, "How was your day?"

In a peaceful, dreamy voice Danny replied, "Marvellous! I walked downhill until I found a railroad track and followed it a ways. I saw a women lying near the track, all tied up. Man! What a great body! I untied her and carried her under the trees. We had sex several times. It was a little harder to get hard to get in that pussy each time and the last time I thought I would just pass out with the effort. But, I made it!!," Danny sighed with a soft, remembering smile.

By this time Chuck was almost beside himself with excitement. "Damn, man," he whispered. "Did you get a blow job, too?"

"No," said Danny with a frown. "I never did find her head."

[Lovelee]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS - HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES.



He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought...... Soon he sees another sign which reads:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS - HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES.



Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS - HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT.



His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: - SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.



He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?' He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'



'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disorientated. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.' He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway...' He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:



GO IN PEACE.



YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.



SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

[donquixotenz]

[donquixotenz]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you."said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
 
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 

[donquixotenz]

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next
to a priest.  The man's tie was stained, his face was
plastered with red lipstick, and  a half-empty bottle of gin
was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He  opened his
newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,
"Say Father,  what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living,
being with  cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt
for your fellow man,  sleeping around with prostitutes and
lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be  damned, "
Then returned to  his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man
and  apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on
so strong. How long  have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just
reading here   that the Pope does."

[Lovelee]

This Maori fella is walking up the beach with a couple of live crayfish in a bucket when he is stopped by an Inspector from the Ministry of Agriculture & Fisheries (MAF).


He says to the Maori fella "Hey, it looks like you caught a couple of undersize crayfish".

The Maori fella says "Nah Bro' these crayfish are my pet crayfish. I just bring them down to the beach every day for a swim and when I whistle, they hop back in the bucket and I take them home."

The MAF officer doesn't believe him and says "you should know it's illegal to catch undersized crayfish and he starts writing out a ticket for a fine".

Then the Maori fella says "Nah Bro' they are pets, you just watch this" and he chucks the crayfish into the surf.

The MAF officer then says "OK, lets see ya whistle and make those crayfish come back to you then."

The Maori fella says "What crayfish??"