Xtra News Community 2
March 29, 2024, 05:01:42 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Welcome to Xtra News Community 2 — please also join our XNC2-BACKUP-GROUP.
 
  Home Help Arcade Gallery Links BITEBACK! XNC2-BACKUP-GROUP Staff List Login Register  

A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away

Pages: 1 ... 10 11 12 13 14 [15] 16 17 18 19 20 21   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away  (Read 13955 times)
0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.
donquixotenz
Senator
Shit-Hot Member
*
Posts: 2335


STILL TILTING


« Reply #350 on: August 29, 2009, 06:55:50 am »

Today's chuckle from me which ought to make you feel better about

your computer skills!

 

 Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you have? 

Customer:    A  white one... 
 

  ============ === 

 

Customer:    Hi,  this is Celine . I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support:   Have you tried pushing  the Button?

Customer:    Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech  support:    That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer:    No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's

still on my desk... sorry... 

 

  ============ === 

 

Tech  support:    Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of

the screen. Customer:   Your left or my left? 

 

    ============ === 

 

Tech  support:    Good  day. How may I help you?

Male  customer:    Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on  'start'  for me and....

Customer:   Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not

Bill Gates.

 

============ ===

 

Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every

time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'.  I've even lifted the

printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still

says he can't find it.

 

    ============ ==

 

Customer:   I have  problems printing in red..

Tech  support:    Do you have a color printer?

Customer:    Aaaah........ ......... .....thank you.

 

    ============ ===

 

Tech  support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

 

      ============ ===

 

Customer:   My keyboard  is not working anymore.

Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer:   No. I can't  get behind the computer.

Tech  support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: !   OK

Tech support:   Did the  keyboard come with you?

Customer:  Yes

Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in. Is there

another keyboard? Customer:   Yes, there's another one here. Ah… that

one does work. 

 

    ============ ===

 

Tech  support:    Your password is the small letter 'a' as in  apple,

a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer:   Is that 7

in capital  letters ?

 

   ============ === 

Customer:   I can't get on the  Internet.

Tech support:    Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer:   Yes, I'm sure. I saw my  colleague do it.

Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer:   Five dots. 

 

   ============ ===

 

Tech  support:    What  anti-virus program do you use?

Customer:   Netscape.

Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer:   Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

 

    ============ ===

 

Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen

saver on my computer, but every time I  move the mouse, it disappears.

 

   ============ ===

 

Tech  support:    How may I help you?

Customer:   I'm writing my first  email.

Tech  support:    OK,  and what seems to be the problem?

Customer:   Well, I have  the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I

get the little circle around it? 

 

    ============ ===

 

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a  problem with her

printer. Tech  support:   Are you running it under windows? Customer:

 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man

sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer

is working fine.' 

    ============ ===

 

And last  but not least....

 

 

Tech  support: 'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at

the same time. That brings up a task list  in the middle of the

screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.'

Customer:   I don't have a P. Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer:   What do you mean? Tech support:   'P'.....on  your

keyboard, Bob. Customer:   I'M NOT GOING TO DO  THAT!
Report Spam   Logged

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.

But rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...

WOW, What a Ride!"

Please note: IMHO and e&oe apply to all my posts.

Pages: 1 ... 10 11 12 13 14 [15] 16 17 18 19 20 21   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Open XNC2 Smileys
Bookmark this site! | Upgrade This Forum
SMF For Free - Create your own Forum


Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy
Page created in 0.053 seconds with 16 queries.