Message #19588

[donquixotenz]

Subject: Wisdom 
 
 
Q:  What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A:  Shoot him again.

Q:  How can you tell if a man is well hung?
A:  When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q:  Why do little boys whine?
A:  Because they are practicing to be men.

Q:  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him, or three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q:  What do you call a handcuffed man?
A:  Trustworthy.

Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A:  You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q:  Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A:  Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q:  Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after Mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q:  Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A:  Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q:  What is the difference between men and women?
A:  A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.  A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q:  How does a man keep his youth?
A:  By giving her money and diamonds.

Q:  How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A:  Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals."