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A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away


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Author Topic: A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away  (Read 7601 times)
Lovelee
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Posts: 19338



« on: January 30, 2009, 07:28:57 am »

If the global crisis continues at the present greed-fuelled rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational ...
the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank.
And don't you just know that when these two banks merge it would still be full of bloody wankers!
 


A blond city girl        marries an Oklahoma rancher.  One morning, on        his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The        insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.         I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the        barn.  You show him where the cow is when he

gets here,        OK?"

 

The rancher        leaves for the fields.  After a while, the artificial insemination        man arrives and knocks on the front door.  Amy takes him down to the        barn.  They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail,        she tells him, "This is the one right here."

 

The man, assuming        he is dealing with an airhead blond, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying        to know; how would YOU know this is the cow to be        bred?"

 

"That's simple.         By the nail over its stall," Amy explains very        confidently.

 

Laughing rudely        at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail        for?"

 

The blond turns        to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang        your pants on."

 

... Chalk up one        for the Blond ...





An American decided to write a book

about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took

a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by

working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church

taking photographs when he noticed a

golden telephone mounted on the wall

with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued,

asked a priest who was strolling by what

the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line

to heaven and that for $10,000 you could

talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and

went along his way.

Next stop was in    Atlanta.

There, at a very large   cathedral,

he saw the same golden telephone with the

same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind

of telephone he saw in   Orlando   and he

asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line

to heaven and that for $10,000 he

could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

He then travelled all across America ,

Europe, England , Japan , New Zealand .
In every church he saw the same

golden telephone with the same

'$US10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American, decided to travel   to

Australia to see if   Australians had the same phone.

He arrived in Australia   and again, in the first church

he entered, there was the same golden

telephone, but this time the sign under

it read '40 cents per call.'

The American was surprised so

he asked the priest about the sign.

'Father, I've travelled all over the

world   and I've seen this same golden

telephone in many churches. I'm told that it

is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them 

price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered,

'You're in Australia  now, son - it's a local call'




 
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.

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