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Holmes on Paula Bennet and gangs

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guest49
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« on: February 15, 2009, 04:57:05 am »

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4848471a1860.html

Normally I consider Holmes to be a useless prat with an ego the size of Antarctica, but for the 1st time ever I believe, I stand 4 square behind him.
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Shef
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« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2009, 05:07:44 am »

I think this is the only time I've ever agreed with Paul Holmes. Well said and well done for having the balls to say it publicly
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dragontamer
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« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2009, 06:13:34 am »

He's still a twat, he's just said something worth listening to for a change.  It's probably the first time it's happened and undoubtedly it will be the last, so don't get used to it.

One thing he said was "I say this because I am not remotely frightened of the Headhunters or any of their scum ilk, or any of the useless, aspirationless, ambitionless young thugs who phone me, threateningly, day and night," Holmes said.

He should have said, "Of course scum like this scare me, I'm just not going to let that fear stop me from doing what is right", or something along those lines.  If you don't have any fear you're an idiot. 

 Undecided Oh yeah - It's Holmes, as you were.

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Lovelee
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« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2009, 08:06:06 am »

Yeh - lets all throw out our kids who associate with people we (parents) dont approve of.  Just chuck em out with our grandkids in tow to live or die.

Theres the truth of the unconditional love our children should experience.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
guest49
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« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2009, 08:25:48 am »

Yes, if they have shown you the contempt they feel for you and your values, then that is the regrettable whole of it Lovelee.
I imagine that Holmes would be delighted if his stepdaughter decided to toss in her criminal activities,  her association with violent and hardened criminals  and I imagine he loves her still and would welcome her with open arms should that happy day occur.

Your sarcastic post is just foolish.
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Lovelee
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« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2009, 08:53:27 am »

My post reflects how I feel about the responsibility of families.

Yes it is sarcastic.

I could never throw my kids and grand kids onto the street, I may never condone what they do however I would never do that.  As I said before, my love for my loved ones is unconditional, that doesnt allow me the freedom to throw them out when they associate with unacceptables.

I have a situation in my own family where one of my kids has associated with an unacceptabe for a considerable time.  The thought of disowning the kid and their children has never ever entered my mind - I am always here for them.  And this they KNOW.

I know of many who have thrown their kids out and years down the track the kid comes home - all grown up now.  That will have happened anyway - providing of course the parenting had been reasonable.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
Justic
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« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2009, 09:05:57 am »

I know of many who have thrown their kids out and years down the track the kid comes home - all grown up now.  That will have happened anyway - providing of course the parenting had been reasonable.
 


Isn't that eactly why PH is suggesting Paula takes a tough stand LL ?

I think it is very easy to sit at our keyboards and judge the like of Holmes and as I often am amazes at the way some Kiwi's base their opinions on personalities and not the real issues.

As I see it his comments display the depth of despair his family have been to with Millie's addiction.

Tough love is tough.  Addictions destroy families.  Ask any family that has watcuhed a loved one gone down that road of destruction.

IMO it was not appropriate for Paula Bennett to try to influence the court.  Whether she used her MP title, paperhead or not, her name is well known in West Auckland.

I hope she takes Paul's advice if things turn to custard when this loser gets out.

By the way Paul is Millie's Dad, he adopted here.
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Lovelee
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« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2009, 09:57:25 am »

My comment is not in judgement of PH - its more in regard to comments from members that chucking a kid out is the way to go.

I agree that Ms Bennet shouldnt have tried to influence the court - but I guess her main concern was for her daughter who perhaps wanted the guy with her - he wasnt being done for bashing his g/f was he?  I thought it was an assault on another person. 
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
Magpie
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« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2009, 10:21:01 am »

Put yourself in this position ( this is based on a true case):

Your adult son is addicted to P. He comes and goes from the family home, stays a few days at a time then disappears again. Frequently there are knocks on the door late at night from dug dealers looking for him because he owes them money.

The last time he stayed at home he sold many of your possessions to buy drugs. He refuses to seek help for his addiction.

The advice you are given is that you should have nothing more to do with him. He will only seek help when he reaches rock bottom and he's not there yet. Supporting him only means it will take him longer to reach the stage where he realises he really needs help.

But he's your son and you love him. Could you turn your back on him even if you knew in your heart that it would be for his own good?



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Calliope
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« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2009, 10:48:29 am »

I've seen it happen
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robman
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« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2009, 10:58:48 am »

I have never had to make the choice regarding throwing one of ours out of the house but if one of them became what Magpie describes then I sure as hell would impose a few conditions on their access to our home and lives.
In Lovelee's world of unconditional love combined with no punishment, why would any child our adult offspring toe the line? As a parent there are times when you either beat a child or deny them the one thing that can truly hurt, your love. Having chosen the latter, your love then becomes conditional.
There is no such thing as unconditional love between either parents and children or between adults, there are only degrees of it. Could anyone keep declaring their love for their offspring as that same child throttled the life out of them? At some point the love would become conditional...
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Lovelee
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« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2009, 12:39:27 pm »

In Lovelee's world of unconditional love combined with no punishment,


Youd better show me where Ive said this Rob,  I havent even discussed punishment.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
robman
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« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2009, 12:54:04 pm »

OK, that was a bit of a prod. I'll stand by the unconditional love bit though, you'd have to be a bit unhinged to go along with that.
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Lovelee
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« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2009, 01:17:14 pm »

Not necesssarily Rob, its what Ive given to my kids.  Ive found it relatively easy.
It has never unhinged me.

Its what works for me - I can see how many would find it unhinges others.

I cannot love part of the time, its all or nothing.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
Justic
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« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2009, 03:14:27 pm »

I think "unconditional love" is a rather odd term and few if any parents actually know what it means.

I think I had a taste of it when I lost my son to suicide. 

Most of us will always love our children but we don't always like their behaviour or choices they make in life.



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Lovelee
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« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2009, 03:26:17 pm »

Obviously Justic - however one doesnt need to love any less when the behaviour is unacceptable.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
guest49
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« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2009, 04:19:02 pm »

I return to what you said earlier LL. 
Just because you "chuck them out" as you put it, doesnt mean you dont love them.  It means you wont tolerate their destruction of your home, family, and relationships.
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Lovelee
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« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2009, 04:52:31 pm »

Yeh - hey if thats how you do it fine - Im simply stating how I feel about it.
Our ideas around it differ - thats ok.

I fail to see the problem frankly.  Im merely saying its not how I do it - u and others are saying thats not - thats cool.
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Laughter is the best medicine, unless you've got a really nasty case of syphilis, in which case penicillin is your best bet.
Brownie55
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« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2009, 08:41:19 pm »

Must be a lot of parents who go through what Magpie has laid out in his post. Horrible to have to make those heartbreaking decisions and stand by them. 
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