Xtra News Community 2
October 14, 2019, 06:12:38 pm
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Welcome to Xtra News Community 2 please also join our XNC2-BACKUP-GROUP.
 
  Home Help Arcade Gallery Links BITEBACK! XNC2-BACKUP-GROUP Staff List Login Register  

Blokes Jokes


Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Blokes Jokes  (Read 959 times)
donquixotenz
Moderator
Shit-Hot Member
*
Posts: 2335


STILL TILTING


« on: September 03, 2013, 10:16:42 am »

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE.

      SHE HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.

       SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER MULE TO THE HITCHING RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE,

            BRUSHING DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED

    OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY

     IN THE OTHER.


 

             THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING,

               "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"


 

      THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID,

                        "NO, I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."


 

           A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID,

                 "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING

                            AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.


 

                    THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -  NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOES BLOWN OFF –

                      STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.


 

                       WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER,

                          STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO

                                               GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.


 

                  THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED

                        SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY

                    THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.


 

                THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING.


 

                   THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND

                          VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.


 

                  THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN

                  AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.


 

            THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS,

                        AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS?"


 

                                THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT...

                                             I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO."


 

                                        THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE:


 

                 1 - Don't be arrogant.

                 2 - Don't waste ammunition.

                 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

                 4 - Always, always make sure you know who you are dealing with.

                 5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.
Report Spam   Logged

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.

But rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...

WOW, What a Ride!"

Please note: IMHO and e&oe apply to all my posts.

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Open XNC2 Smileys
Bookmark this site! | Upgrade This Forum
SMF For Free - Create your own Forum


Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy
Page created in 0.047 seconds with 11 queries.