Palmy North

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Boring Palmy butt of all jokes

AAP | 9:44AM - Monday, 22 June 2009

Every country has them — communities that are the butt of all jokes because they're as dull as dishwater, an eyesore or simply in the middle of nowhere.

In Australia, the northern NSW town of Goodooga took the crown a couple of years back as The Most Boring Town in a newspaper poll.

Some would argue Queensland's Townsville or Ipswich, NSW's Dubbo or Kempsey, or even the national capital Canberra could give it a good run for its money.

In New Zealand, there is no debate. There's just one, Palmerston North, and you know that because it's hard to find a newspaper that doesn't take a regular swipe at it.

Palmerston North, 140km north of Wellington in the North Island, wins on many fronts.

It's as flat as a pancake and rates among the most consistently overcast towns in the country.

It's also the windiest, worse even than New Zealand's famously blowy capital.

And it's notoriously boring. Just ask British comedian John Cleese who nicknamed it the "suicide capital of the world" after visiting in 2006.

"If you ever do want to kill yourself but lack the courage, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick," he said.

"The weather was grotty. The theatre was a nasty shape. The audience was very strange to play to."

At the time the city fought back, with the mayor saying such insults were "complete and utter bollocks" and officially naming the local rubbish dump Mt Cleese.

But the bad rap stuck, and it was enough to bring the jokes out from behind closed doors and on to the front pages of New Zealand's newspapers.

Wellington newspaper The Dominion Post seems to pride itself on a weekly piece to dish the dirt on the oddities of the town Kiwis call "Palmy".

Take the news last month that the local council had a superstitious policy of banishing the number 13 from house numbers.

The bizarre regulation is apparently in place so people with triskaidekaphobia — a fear of the number 13 — are not deterred from buying homes with that number on the letterbox.

Then there was the quirky pattern of thefts involving the street signs Whisky Way, Nirvana Court and Moonshine Valley Road.

But taking the cake was the angry motel owner from Palmerston North who made the front page for banning any resident from a nearby town, Wainuiomata, from checking in.

The story made for great entertainment and not just because the owner lived in Palmerston North — he was also an Aussie from Sydney.

As one caller to New Zealand talkback put it: "To take a swipe at Palmy and Australia in the one go is just gold."

Palmerston North has a population of 78,000 and thanks to a big uni more than half are aged under 25. So there's really no excuse for being boring.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/travel/new-zealand/2522892/Boring-Palmy-butt-of-all-jokes

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

The really funny thing is that is an Australian article! 

(AAP = Australian Associated Press)

[Magoo]

And it's notoriously boring. Just ask British comedian John Cleese who nicknamed it the "suicide capital of the world" after visiting in 2006.

"If you ever do want to kill yourself but lack the courage, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick," he said.

[bump head benny]

Palmies not that bad, the guy was just trying to be funny. Sux to be him if the only NZ town he could remember was PN.

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

I guess if you live on the Chatham Islands, you'd find Palmy North an exciting place....


Chatham women in city for medical tests

Manawatu Standard | 12 NOON - Saturday, 27 June 2009

Gumboots and slippers are the only shoes you need on the Chatham Islands but it's good to have a couple of nice pairs just in case, says Michele Andersen, who moved to the remote islands three years ago.

Sixty Chatham Island women aged between 45 and 69 will spend the weekend in Palmerston North to get mammograms, cervical smears and mole maps.

But, in between their appointments they will shop `till they drop, get their hair done and treat themselves to coffee and cake.

Ms Andersen, 59, had already bought a couple of pairs of shiny shoes before her mammogram and haircut yesterday afternoon.

"The most hilarious part is most of the time you don't need shoes ... that seems strange."

"You wear slippers inside all the time and when you go outside you put your gumboots on."

Today she will get a mole map done and buy yoghurt and cereal to take back on the plane Monday morning.

She and her partner, Mana Cracknell, were senior lecturers at Massey University in Wellington before moving to the Chathams, population 612, to work with the Hokotehi Moriori Trust.

The couple had to learn to be patient and do without, she said.

"Those that were born and bred there don't even know what I'm talking about, they just have the ability to be patient."

Nurse Winnie Douglas, 54, co-ordinates the two-yearly trips which are funded by the Ministry of Health and Hawke's Bay District Health Board.

"It's promoting women's health."

Mrs Douglas knows the importance of getting regular mammograms and smears, which are not available on the Chathams.

She had been told by a pathologist that her smear was fine when it wasn't.

"I've been through it first hand."

She also lost two female relatives to cervical cancer because of a "botch up".

Mrs Douglas said if they can travel 1000km to have mammograms at Palmerston North's BreastScreen Coast to Coast, New Zealand woman can get to their local breast screening clinic.

"I had my mammogram this morning, it was a bit squashy but it wasn't painful," she said.

"The radiologists were absolutely superb at making you feel at ease."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2545604/Chatham-women-in-city-for-medical-tests

[dragontamer]

I guess if you live on the Chatham Islands, you'd find Palmy North an exciting place....

Which doesn't explain why Mr Dt wants to move to the Chathams.  On a 10 year plan no less.  We only moved to Christchurch on a two year plan. 

[Magoo]

Well you better stock up on gummies and slippers DT.      

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

I've been to the Chathams.

I went over there about twenty years ago with a fisherman from Mahia (one of the mad Sparks brothers). He was delivering a fishing boat from Gisborne to the Chathams and talked me into going along for the ride. About a day and a bit out from Gizzy, I suddenly woke up to the fact that the skipper had no charts, which put the wind up me a bit. However, the only other person on the boat — the sole crewman — assured me that the skipper had been to the Chathams and back so many times that he knew the way like the back of his hand, navigating using the sun, moon, stars and pure instinct. I was still relieved though when the Chathams appeared on the horizon, dead ahead.

I didn't see much of the Chathams though, because we spent a couple of days on the piss in the pub, before flying back to Napier with an airline called East Air that doesn't exist any more. So I CAN say I've actually been there, but don't ask me about it because I saw bugger-all of it and was too pissed to take it in anyway! 

[Im2Sexy4MyPants]

.

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Big blow wallops truckies

Manawatu Standard | 12:00 NOON - Tuesday, 30 June 2009



GOING OFF-ROAD: High winds in the Manawatu forced at least
three trucks off roads and caused trees to topple on Monday.
— MURRAY WILSON/Manawatu Standard.

Wild winds in the region forced at least three trucks off roads and caused trees to topple yesterday.

The first truck and trailer was tipped on its side by a gust of wind about 8am on State Highway 57 between Tokomaru and Shannon.

The road was blocked while cranes lifted the truck back on its wheels later in the morning.

Police issued a warning advising high-sided vehicles and motorcyclists to avoid SH56 and 57 because of the howling winds.

But during the morning another truck was forced into the ditch just before the SH56 and 57 intersection, north of Shannon.

Then, about 1.15pm, a third truck and trailer was forced off SH57, south of Tokomaru.

The drivers were all shaken but not injured.

Flooding nearly closed the road between Palmerston North and Linton early yesterday morning.

Police recommended motorists not to use the stretch of road.

Several slips in the Manawatu Gorge led police to advise motorists to be cautious of rocks on the road.

The east-southeast winds also damaged old trees in a shelter belt behind Massey University.

Greens Road resident John Reid said a 100-year-old pine tree was snapped clean off, about a metre above the ground, by Sunday night's wind.

The pine tree was about 30 metres tall.

Southerly winds were worse, but the east-southeast came from a different quarter and put a different stress on the trees, Mr Reid said.

"It was very noisy."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2551672/Big-blow-wallops-truckies

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Vandals etch buses

By KATIE CHAPMAN - Manawatu Standard | 1:00PM - Thursday, 02 June 2009



TAGGED: Palmerston North bus driver Lance Patterson is driving coaches with etched
graffiti that will cost about $35,000 to repair. — BEN CURRAN/Manawatu Standard.

Palmerston North buses are sporting more than just advertisements after vandals added their own messages.

Tags have been etched into the glass windows of about 25 buses, including all the coaches used for local services.

Vandals entered the Matipo Street Tranzit Coachlines depot overnight on consecutive Tuesdays, on May 26 and June 02, to scratch on their messages. Some charter buses were also targeted.

Tranzit Manawatu manager Tony Chettleburgh said about $35,000 in damage had been done.

"It's about $500 a piece of glass, and they've done over 70 pieces of glass."

Because of the extensive damage, new security measures would be introduced, but better lighting had to be installed, along with security cameras, he said.

He was reluctant to replace the glass before then.

"It would bring tears to your eye if you replaced it and a day later it was done again." But the tags were a bad look for city buses, he said.

"It's just not what passengers of the general public want to be looking at around the city."

Driver Lance Patterson said passengers had been commenting on the inscribed tags.

"They're not very happy about it."

There was speculation the graffiti came from someone new to Palmerston North, because the tags had not been seen before, he said.

The police have been told about the vandalism.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2558403/Vandals-etch-buses

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Vet degree's a dirty business

Manawatu Standard | 1:00PM - Thursday, 16 July 2009



DOWN AND DIRTY: Massey University third-year veterinary student
Zara Ballance sprays soft drink at horse-poo-covered first-year
students, as part of the vet school initiation ritual.
— BEN CURRAN/Manawatu Standard.

They slipped and slid, had eggs lobbed at their heads, crawled through horse poo and dove into a duck pond.

No-one said being a vet student was going to be easy.

Yesterday, 100 Massey University first-year veterinary students also discovered their degree was going to get them much dirtier than anticipated.

As part of an age-old vet school initiation, the fledgling students were put through a gruelling gauntlet of humiliation on the Palmerston North campus.

The annual ritual is organised by third-year vet students and this year's batch had been planning the ultimate walk of shame for at least a month.

On Massey's concourse before the event, third-year student Lucy Holdaway, 23, was helping to spread a trailerload of horse poo and rotten yoghurt on to a tarpaulin.

The unsuspecting first-years were sitting a fake "test" in one of their science lectures, Ms Holdaway said.

At the signal, they were rounded up and wiped head-to-toe with fake tan, before being forced to walk bare-foot through horse-poo-filled tyre tubes and crawling along the tarpaulin.

They would then have to retrieve their shoes from a floating raft in the middle of the Massey duck pond, all the while being pelted with eggs, flour, water, soft drink, and any other foodstuffs that came to hand, she said.

"We just kind of scone them with eggs and flour and poo ... yeah, just humiliation basically.

"We've fooled them into thinking it's next week so they're not expecting it, so hopefully they're all wearing flash clothes."

With a yell the first initiates were herded on to the concourse, and within moments the quiet midday scene resembled a war zone.

Flour flew and eggs were hiffed, with no-one spared in the carnage. Bewildered and shivering, the first-years were frog-marched to the duck pond and informed of their shoes' fate.

Third-year student Jim Wilson was pleased at the level of chaos.

"We got them very, very messy this year I hope the spray tan works out, so we get some bright-orange first years."

THE ARSENAL

• 200 eggs.

• 480 wet wipes smeared with spray tan.

• 1 trailerload of horse manure.

• 100 water balloons.

• 100 flour bombs.

• Unknown stockpiles of rotten yoghurt and milk.

• 20 litres of soft drink, loaded into water pistols.

• 1 megaphone for barking orders.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2598965/Vet-degrees-a-dirty-business

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Jehovah's Witnesses get the word about the end

By LAURA JACKSON - The Manawatu Standard | 12 NOON - Monday, 24 August 2009



A NEW MAN: Codey Bramley, 20, from Kapiti, was
one of 28 people to be baptised at the three-day
Jehovah's Witness conference in Palmerston North.
— JONATHAN CAMERON/The Manawatu Standard.

Souls were saved by the masses in Palmerston North this weekend.

More than 3000 Jehovah's Witnesses packed into the Arena Manawatu Pascal Street Stadium to learn how to survive the end of the world.

Spokesman Rick Delmarter said the planet will not be destroyed, but like Noah and his Ark a new system on Earth will be established which will see some left standing and others not. The public were invited to come and learn how to face the future with confidence and build a relationship with God, he said.

Young people were lining up to be baptised and locals who had not previously belonged to the church came along to hear what it was all about.

"Considering all the influences around young people at the moment, the drugs and violence, some are still keen to live a good life and get on a good path, which is very encouraging."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2780750/Jehovahs-Witnesses-get-the-word-about-the-end

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Thieves try to run off with ATM

By BRONWYN TORRIE - Manawatu Standard | 12 NOON - Monday, 21 September 2009



BIG MESS: Palmerston North Police investigate the
failed theft of an ATM at Milson Shopping Centre.
— WARWICK SMITH/Manawatu Standard.

Attempts to rip an ATM from the Super Seven 4 Square in the Milson Shopping Centre early today failed.

Chains were attached to the in-store ATM, owned by a private company, and connected to the store van that the thieves had hotwired, owner Phil Watts said.

"It looks like they've tried to drag it away," he said.

"They've got half the machine out of the window and it's bounced over the footpath."

The thieves fled the scene with nothing but caused a lot of damage, Mr Watts said.

"There was nobody hurt and windows, vans and ATMs are replaceable.

"There's no point in being angry, that doesn't resolve anything but it was totally unnecessary; most crime is," he said.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2884969/Thieves-try-to-run-off-with-ATM

[enemyoftheleft]

Best thing in Palmy are these guys.....http://www.yacanto.net/index.asp?ID=3
 
Thats where i got my boy from 3 years ago who was a consistant winner till mrs enemy got tired of the showdog  world bullshit and gave up.But they export world wide and have produced champion dogs winning top prizes in sth africa, england,u.s.a and scandanavia......if ya want a Dane you can't go past these guys

[guest49]

I always found the best thing about Palmerston North, was seeing it dwindle in the rear view mirror.

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Tour de Coma bit of a snooze-fest

Manawatu Standard | 12:00 NOON - Saturday, 10 October 2009



ON SHOW: Student Brad Emott displays his beer-box hat at the annual Tour de Coma drinking day.
— JONATHAN CAMERON/The Manawatu Standard.

More than 100 mud-covered students dripped their way around the annual Tour de Coma in Palmerston North in an event police have described as "low-key."

No arrests were made during the booze-fuelled flat crawl, which sees students walk between flats, consuming a beer at each as a final blowout before exams.

About seven police officers and a paddy wagon flanked the students as they made their way from flat to flat during the tour, which began at 9am.

Their white uniforms had soon turned muddy brown. Some wore hats made from beer boxes.

A police officer at the scene said some mud was thrown at houses, breaking windows. Students were seen jumping on cars and offering passers-by muddy hugs.

But all the action was over by about 1pm, Senior Sergeant Cliff Brown said.

"There were no major problems. They went from address to address, and in the end it got called off — I think a few people had had enough."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/2951500/Tour-de-Coma-bit-of-a-snooze-fest

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Year's work in student's stolen car

Manawatu Standard | 12 NOON - Tuesday, 03 November 2009



EMPTY SPACE: Photography student Olivia Greenfield's car was stolen from
this parking space outside UCOL's photography building on Queen Street.
 — JONATHAN CAMERON/Manawatu Standard.

Palmerston North student Olivia Greenfield's dreams of becoming a fashion photographer could be dashed after car thieves stole her photos, clothes and a year's worth of assignments.

Miss Greenfield, 18, a second-year UCOL photography student, parked her car outside the polytech's Queen Street photography building about 5pm on Sunday. When she went outside at 9pm, it was gone.

In the car was Miss Greenfield's external hard drive which held all her photos and assignments, some of which were due to be marked this week.

"I'm hoping to get extensions, otherwise I'll have to do it from scratch in a week." She also lost an iPod and a camera tripod but most upsetting for her was the loss of items that didn't belong to her, including a UCOL video camera, library books and shoes borrowed for photo shoots.

"That's the hardest bit, telling people. I don't care about the car. It's all the stuff in there, all the stuff that's not mine."

She was also upset about the loss of sentimental items such as her high school ball dress and a birthday present for her mother.

"It's kind of gutting because it's her birthday and I've got no present for her now.

"The car is easier to replace. They [the thieves] can just thrash and burn it as much as they like, as long as they chuck my stuff on the side of the road."

Miss Greenfield said the theft had taught her a valuable lesson.

"I'm not going to leave anything in my car any more."

The theft comes just one week after the car of Palmerston North speed skater Sam Wright was broken into in a UCOL car park.

Mr Wright had a pair of expensive speed skates taken from his car but got them back after the Palmerston North Safe City hosts spotted the thief. Despite the two recent thefts, UCOL said there was an effective level of security at the inner-city Palmerston North campus and it was well serviced by its security providers.

"However, in the process of continuous improvement, we regularly review all such services, including security," said UCOL general manager of corporate services Fiona Chard.

"We will consider the two recent incidents as part of that process. In the meantime we will remain vigilant."

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/3025215/Years-work-in-students-stolen-car

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Palmerston North requires an image update say councillors

By MICHAEL FORBES - The Dominion Post | 8:29AM - Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Palmerston North is the "laughing stock" of Wellington and will remain so unless the council does something drastic to boost its profile, city councillors say.

Debate over whether people outside Palmerston North actually liked the city raged at a council committee meeting last night to adopt the city's 2010-11 draft annual plan.

Councillors were arguing whether $200,000 should be included to raise the city's profile — as money had been in previous years. But councillors Peter Wheeler, Chris Teo-Sherrell and Bruce Wilson suggested previous money had been wasted and the council needed a clear plan to improve outsiders' perception of their city.

Mr Wheeler said there had been little initiative from Destination Manawatu in previous years, mainly due to the organisation's tight budget and lack of staff.

Mr Teo-Sherrell agreed the city's image had not shifted far in recent times, adding that he attended a seminar in Wellington recently where Palmerston North was the "laughing stock".

Documents provided to the council said the $200,000 would go toward "opportunities that promote Palmerston North as a vibrant location, supporting local initiatives such as the Manawatu Turbos and films".

"We want a proposal on how we're going to go forward. How are you going to market the Turbos to people in Timaru?" Mr Wilson said.

Chief executive Paddy Clifford said the money would not be spent until a proposal was agreed by councillors.

Mayor Jono Naylor agreed that public perception was the city's biggest enemy.

Councillors voted 11-3 in favour of including the $200,000 in its draft annual plan.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/national/3361759/Palmerston-North-requires-an-image-update-say-councillors

[beaker]

I travel to Palmy quite regularly (generally in the evening) - it has a lot going for it.  But it's so damn boring looking.  The best attraction it has are the wind turbines.

[Alicat]

Palmy has a fantastic Burmese Cat Breeder there. I have 4 friends who have 2 Burmese kittens each from her, my parents have one and I have one. That must be a big plus for Palmy.

Not sure I'd want to live there though

[ssweetpea]

I like Palmy, it is a fantastic base for a holiday.

All sorts of places are an easy drive away.

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

D grade irks city pie man

By GRANT MILLER - Manawatu Standard | 1:00PM - Wednesday, 21 July 2010


NAMED, BUT NOT SHAMED: The shop owned by Leighton Haar,
better known as the naked pie man, has scored a D in
Palmerston North City Council food gradings.
 — ROBERT KITCHIN/Manawatu Standard.

THE NAKED PIE MAN — whose shop in Palmerston North is the only one to score a D in the latest food gradings – is refusing to display his unflattering certificate.

Leighton Haar, owner of the Central Pie and Smoke Shop on Fitzherbert Avenue, said he had been tripped up by unnecessary paperwork and there was nothing wrong with his pies.

"Our pies are healthy. I've lived on them for seven and a half years."

He said he completed a food-handling course, but couldn't find the certificate. "I've been penalised because I can't produce a piece of paper."

The often bare-chested Mr Haar scored a B last year.

The name-and-shame system was introduced by the Palmerston North City Council in 2005 — 49 businesses scored Ds that year. City council environmental protection services head Wayne Jameson said a D meant a store was "below par, but not bad enough to close".

"We worked with those rated a D last time. They were well aware that the D was costing them money."

Mr Jameson said the council also negotiated the temporary closure of three premises in the past year. He declined to name the businesses, but said they were now graded B.

Displaying gradings had led to an improvement in standards, partly because of public pressure, he said.

Mr Jameson said people who worked in the food industry should have a food-handler's certificate.

Mr Haar, 57, said he had 30 years of food-handling experience and the D would be damaging to his business.

He started the Pie and Smoke Shop in 2000, after Shell shut his Fitzherbert Avenue service station.

The shop sold up to 300 pies a night, he said, as well as drinks, tobacco and party pills.

"This place is famous world-wide," he said. "People come to Palmerston [North] to meet the naked pie man. A lot of people want me to stand for mayor."

Mr Haar said he lost his house about five years ago because roadworks by the city council on Fitzherbert Avenue affected his business.

Mr Jameson said the city was also trialling an auditing process, ahead of an anticipated law change on food regulations.

The food-grading system had led to positive change in the industry, he said.

• To check outlet food gradings, visit the Palmerston North City Council website.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/3939780/D-grade-irks-city-pie-man

[Ares Abani]

Gosh that post above is a good reason to avoid the place as far as I'm concerned..lol PUT A SHIRT ON OLD DUDE!

[Kiwithrottlejockey]

Initiation for students

By STACEY KIRK - Manawatu Standard | 1:00PM - Thursday, 22 July 2010


SODDEN: Lucy Picott after she was thrown into
the pond. — ROBERT KITCHIN/Manawatu Standard.

AS IF THE DEGREE wasn't hard enough, first-year vet students were forced to show their dedication by eating cat food and being pelted with eggs.

As part of an annual initiation yesterday, third-year vet students at Massey University had the task of taking new recruits hostage and herding them through a gauntlet-style barrage of muck.

The time-honoured tradition welcomes the best and brightest into a five-year degree, which is known for being one of the most intellectually gruelling courses offered at Massey.

Of the 230 students enrolled in the open-entry first semester of the Bachelor of Veterinary Science degree, about 75 made it to the initiation.

Third-year Nathan Broerse was one of the co-ordinators of the gladiator-style welcome.

"It's a bit cruel but we all have to do it."

First-year student Patrick Taylor's spirits weren't dampened despite a dip in the lake.

"It's a bit of fun.

"It took a lot of work to get in there so I'm stoked, regardless," he said.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/manawatu-standard/news/3944835/Initiation-for-students/