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“Dumbfuck of the Week” Award

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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #50 on: March 08, 2010, 05:28:22 pm »


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Newtown-Fella
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« Reply #51 on: March 09, 2010, 04:03:39 pm »

Woman crashes while shaving bikini area

A woman who caused a two-car crash was shaving her bikini line when she ploughed into another vehicle.

Megan Mariah Barnes, 37, had asked her ex-husband to steer while she tidied up her pubic hair when they smashed into the back of a pick-up on a Florida highway.

Barnes was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be "ready for the visit", according to news service CBS.

Members of the Florida Highway Patrol told the media Barnes and her ex, Charles Judy, allegedly drove another half-mile before switching seats. When they were pulled over, Judy claimed to have been driving.

However an eagle-eyed traffic cop spotted tell-tale burns on his chest from the passenger-side airbag, which disproved their story.
Barnes had been driving with a suspended license, just a day after being convicted of drunk-driving, CBS reports. She now faces charges of reckless driving, driving with a revoked license, leaving the scene of a crash with injuries and driving with no insurance.

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/6908482/woman-crashes-while-shaving-bikini-area/
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« Reply #52 on: March 13, 2010, 04:27:17 am »





Bizarre bloke busted
11 Mar 2010

A confused holidaymaker from Spain who claimed he was a member of the Irish Republican Army and a Maori was arrested twice on the same day for his bizarre antics.

He was first nabbed by cops at 5am last Thursday at a Queenstown bar after racially abusing another customer.

The 31-year-old man was charged with disorderly behaviour and possession of cannabis and bailed not to go near licensed premises.

However, he was collared again in town later that night for breaking his bail conditions, after going back out on the booze.

“First up, he had been allegedly making racial taunts towards a bar patron,” constable Sean Drader says.

“He was ranting about how he hated the English and said he was in the IRA, even though he is from Spain.

“He also claimed he was Maori gangster, because he happened to have tattoos.”

Constable Drader adds: “When arrested for the second time, he was drunk and exhibiting more odd behaviour.

“It’s likely this particular gentleman will be returning to Europe sometime soon.”

http://www.scene.co.nz/bizarre-bloke-busted/254177a1.page


 
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Crusader
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« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2010, 07:30:38 pm »

My nom for this week is the idiot who wanted to be a pirate and will now end up in a japanese jail.

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/6940206/greens-push-for-action-to-help-anti-whaling-campaigner/
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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #54 on: March 16, 2010, 07:51:21 pm »


My nomination for Dumbfucks of the Week would have to be those silly Japs who have given Sea Shepherd a HUGE publicity opportunity.

The Kiwi who has been locked up by the Japs will become a martyr for the cause thanks to the stupid Japs.

Hence the Dumbfuck of the Week award for those Japs who have kicked an “own” goal for their enemy!  Cool
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Crusader
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« Reply #55 on: March 16, 2010, 10:27:33 pm »

Shouldn't there be a vote between the jap whalers and the idiot pirate?
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« Reply #56 on: May 31, 2010, 07:19:08 pm »

Shouldn't there be a vote between the jap whalers and the idiot pirate?


Well....I guess the fact the Japs have to rely on a professional Kiwi liar like that piece of traitor trash Glen Inwood (who also peddles spin for and on behalf of tobacco companies) kinda says it all about their cause!




And as for that other gutless wonder (our Foreign Affairs Minister)....I guess he is the Japs' “sucky-sucky”, eh?

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« Reply #57 on: May 31, 2010, 07:20:58 pm »


Fast lane to disaster — driver's shocker

APN News | 4:00AM - Monday, May 31, 2010

Police want to talk to the driver of this car photographed from another nearby vehicle as it broke all the overtaking rules.
Police want to talk to the driver of this car photographed from another nearby vehicle
as it broke all the overtaking rules.


Senior traffic police want to prosecute a "crazy" motorist snapped by another traveller overtaking a truck in wet conditions and with limited visibility on double yellow no-passing lines on the Napier-Taupo Road.

Eastern district road policing manager Chris Wallace described the action as blatantly dangerous and said:

"Did you note the comments in yellow on the back of the truck? They say it all — ‘Are you sure it's safe to overtake? Your family wants you home tonight’."

"It's one of the most heavily used roads into and out of Hawkes Bay."

"This photo highlights poor decision-making and the lack of responsibility of the driver of the car, who poses a risk to others on the road."

When two other Napier police traffic section officers saw the picture — snapped by a following motorist's passenger — they shook their heads.

When they noticed the message on the rear of the truck-and-trailer unit, they gave wry smiles, saying a "bit of a chat" to the driver would be in order.

"We would be very interested," one of the officers said after being told that the woman who took the shot had a clearer image which showed the car's registration plate.

The woman and her husband were driving towards Napier about a month ago when fog descended over State Highway 5 just after they crossed the Mohaka Bridge.

"I like to take photos out the window when my husband's driving," said the woman, who did not want to be identified.

"Then this scene came into the picture — we couldn't believe it ... I think my husband swore."

"It was quite dangerous — there was so much fog, and the truck wasn't really holding us up."

"We were quite happy to sit there. If something had happened we could have been wrapped up in it."

She said the car was travelling "pretty fast" when it passed them and the truck and trailer.

She contacted police, and was told to take her pictures to the nearest station.

Senior Constable Gerald Corkery of Napier said: "It is just impatience and tempting fate."

He said the car would have been on the wrong side of the road for up to 200 metres as it overtook the couple's car and the truck and trailer.

"They would have come across a passing lane soon. That's just crazy stuff."


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10648579
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« Reply #58 on: July 22, 2010, 12:14:39 am »


Road, rail line closed after truck hits bridge

By LEIGHTON KEITH and KIRSTY JOHNSTON - Taranaki Daily News | 5:00AM - Wednesday, 21 July 2010

IMPACT POINT: A large hole on the Egmont Road rail overbridge shows where the truck carrying a digger hit it on Tuesday. — ROBERT CHARLES/Taranaki Daily News.
IMPACT POINT: A large hole on the Egmont Road rail overbridge shows where the truck carrying a digger hit it on Tuesday.
 — ROBERT CHARLES/Taranaki Daily News.


THAT HURT: Paramedics place the injured truck driver on a stretcher following Tuesday's bridge crash. — ROBERT CHARLES/Taranaki Daily News.
THAT HURT: Paramedics place the injured truck driver on a stretcher following Tuesday's bridge crash.
 — ROBERT CHARLES/Taranaki Daily News.


DOZENS OF MOTORISTS were caught unawares after a truck smashed into the Egmont Road overbridge and forced a road closure yesterday.

Police shut the popular through-road around 5pm after an accident yesterday morning when a truck carrying a digger hit the underside of the overbridge and damaged a concrete beam.

The force of the crash buckled the trailer's deck, bent the arm of the digger and saw a 67-year-old truck driver taken to hospital by TDHB ambulance with neck and back injuries.

Despite the road closure, there was no public warning from either police or the New Plymouth District Council yesterday, although KiwiRail had announced it would close the rail line to Port Taranaki until an investigation could be completed.

A number of motorists were caught off-guard due to the lack of signs near the bridge and had to backtrack along Egmont Road and down either Smart or Henwood roads.

There were still no detour signs in place on either Egmont Road or the nearby Katere Road last night.

Road Transport Association western branch spokesman Tom Cloke said according to his information, the road was closed indefinitely.

A police spokesman said it had been deemed too unsafe for cars to pass underneath and was now the council's responsibility.

KiwiRail spokeswoman Ruth Larsen said the bridge, which was used by four to five trains a day, would also remain closed until a full assessment of the damage was complete.

KiwiRail structural engineers will further assess the situation today.

"We will look to put in place a temporary fix as soon as possible so we can resume running trains while a permanent solution is decided upon. However, until we determine the full extent of the damage, it is unclear when a temporary repair will be made and the line re-opened," Ms Larsen said.

One train was allowed to cross the bridge yesterday at slow speed.

Ms Larsen said trucks and the loads they were carrying hitting rail over-bridges was an ongoing problem for KiwiRail.

Constable Lee Rose said it appeared the truck driver was not aware of the height of his load.

"He's got neck injuries as a result of a whiplash reaction from the jarring," Mr Rose said.

Local resident David Sampson said the accident should never have happened.

He said when the New Plymouth District Council reshaped the road about three years ago it reduced the clearance under the rail bridge.

"Why? I do not know, but since they have done that I've lost count of the number of times the bridge has been hit," Mr Sampson said.

NPDC roading systems engineer Carl Whittleston said the bridge had a clearance of 4.6 metres and met the legal requirements.


http://www.stuff.co.nz/taranaki-daily-news/news/3938519/Road-rail-line-closed-after-truck-hits-bridge
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Magoo
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« Reply #59 on: July 22, 2010, 08:27:07 am »

Perhaps a black and yellow strip across the entrance to the underpass like they have on low ceiling carparks.   You have to pass under that before you enter.   That would be a cheaper option than repair.   It cost thousands to fix the overpass on the Christchurch northern motorway last year after the same thing happened.
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« Reply #60 on: July 22, 2010, 10:46:15 am »



 Stoopid dam homebuilt double decker bus pulled in here around xmas, under our power lines.
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Magoo
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« Reply #61 on: July 22, 2010, 11:14:17 am »

i know someone who was operating a very large machine, who wasn't looking what he was doing....raised a very tall boom, lowered some very important wires and blacked out the whole village for several hours.     
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« Reply #62 on: July 22, 2010, 12:41:58 pm »

Perhaps a black and yellow strip across the entrance to the underpass like they have on low ceiling carparks.   You have to pass under that before you enter.   That would be a cheaper option than repair.   It cost thousands to fix the overpass on the Christchurch northern motorway last year after the same thing happened.


Perhaps if dumb truckies actually CHECKED the height of their load, then this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

The number of trucks that strike the double-track railway bridge near Silverstream as they pass beneath it on Eastern Hutt Road beggars belief.

There is warning sign after warning sign after warning sign approaching the bridge, as well as over-height sensors which set off sirens and flashing red lights when an overheight vehicle approaches within 250 metres of the bridge, yet still several dumbfuck truckies manage to hit the bridge every year!
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Magoo
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« Reply #63 on: July 22, 2010, 01:02:27 pm »

Quote
Perhaps if dumb truckies actually CHECKED the height of their load, then this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
So then so should all car drivers make sure they can fit into carparking buildings. Roll Eyes
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« Reply #64 on: July 22, 2010, 03:28:40 pm »

Quote
Perhaps if dumb truckies actually CHECKED the height of their load, then this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
So then so should all car drivers make sure they can fit into carparking buildings. Roll Eyes


If they have an over-height vehicle, then yes they should.

Many carpark buildings have a sign displaying the maximum allowed height.

If you are silly enough to drive a vehicle higher than that maximum allowed height into the building and you cause any damage, then you are a dumbfuck for trying to take a vehicle through a space it is too big to fit thorough and you are also legally liable for the damage.
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« Reply #65 on: July 22, 2010, 03:51:08 pm »


Comment lands man in cell

The Timaru Herald | 5:00AM - Thursday, 22 July 2010

A “LIPPY” YOUNG MAN who lost a defended hearing spent time in a cell after he called the court corrupt.

Morven dairy farm worker Jason William Brown had just been fined $500 in the Timaru District Court yesterday for disorderly behaviour and resisting arrest when he told the court he believed the court system was corrupt.

Brown was put in a cell for two hours by Judge David Saunders.

When he returned to the dock, Brown apologised for his behaviour; however, Judge Saunders said he thought Brown's behaviour in court illustrated the point the police officer who gave evidence during the defended hearing had been making — that Brown was "a lippy young man".

"You exhibit your views without any thought about what you do and say," Judge Saunders said.

"It isn't a corrupt system; you may have other thoughts about that."

St Andrew's Constable Timothy Hartnell ticketed Brown for travelling at 118km/h on January 16. During the defended hearing, Mr Hartnell told the court that as he turned away, Brown made a derogatory comment about him. While talking to him about the comment, Brown became agitated and animated, saying: "Well, let's see how good you are; take me on".

When he was attempting to arrest him, Brown moved out onto the road and stood with his hands behind his back, Mr Hartnell said.

He pepper-sprayed Brown, who got back into his car and refused to get out.

Brown, representing himself, told the court he had not directed the comment at the officer. He said he never became animated and did not step across the white line on the road. He was pepper-sprayed twice because he would not get out of his car as he did not know what he was being arrested for, he said.


http://www.stuff.co.nz/timaru-herald/news/3943272/Comment-lands-man-in-cell
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Magoo
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« Reply #66 on: July 22, 2010, 04:02:10 pm »

He needs a good tasering.  Grin
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« Reply #67 on: July 22, 2010, 04:07:42 pm »

He needs a good tasering.  Grin


Ah....but tasers don't always work!

Tasers for some cops - but they will have to ask permission to use them! (see replies #4 and #5).
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Magoo
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« Reply #68 on: July 22, 2010, 04:11:08 pm »

perhaps a cattle prod?
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« Reply #69 on: August 03, 2010, 04:57:44 pm »


Jail over ‘cannabis for tax’

By KELLY LONEY - Taranaki Daily News | 5:00AM - Tuesday, 03 August 2010

GROWING CANNABIS to pay the IRD landed a Hurleyville farmer in jail yesterday for one year and eight months.

An aerial search in February led police to cannabis worth up to $45,000 on Craig McColl's 4856-hectare hill country property.

McColl appeared for sentencing in the Hawera District Court yesterday, having already admitted charges in April of possessing and cultivating cannabis.

Police found 15 cannabis plants, about 1.6m tall, carrying 30-60 grams of head each.

The estimated value of each plant was $500.

The plot was surrounded by a wire mesh fence and McColl was observed tending to it while wearing overalls, a hair net and white gloves.

In the roof above the shearers' quarters police found a large bucket with scales and 855g of head with an estimated value of $7,500.

In an abandoned house police found cultivation implements and a gas heater drying 1710g of head, worth $10,000 if sold by the pound or $15,000 if sold in tinnies.

Another 1750g was also found, worth more than $10,000.

Defence counsel Peter Brosnahan requested a sentence of home detention as McColl's elderly parents relied on his leasing of the farm for their survival.

He submitted McColl was not a sophisticated retailer of cannabis and had simply grown it to sell in large amounts to pay off a $30,000 IRD debt.

But Judge Allan Roberts said the seriousness of the offending and the yield, calculated to be worth between $30,000 and $45,000, removed the option of a community-based sentence.

The judge gave him credit for his early guilty plea, being in full-time employment and having no previous convictions.

Aggravating factors were premeditation, the quantity of plants, the sophistication of the operation and no apparent remorse.

"This was a deliberate course of action with a focus of securing profit," Judge Roberts said.


http://www.stuff.co.nz/taranaki-daily-news/news/3983589/Jail-over-cannabis-for-tax
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Magoo
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« Reply #70 on: August 05, 2010, 07:10:17 am »

 Roll Eyes
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/3992370/Dog-trouble-in-Christchurch

Dog trouble in Christchurch

Two dogs were hit by cars and a dog bit a police officer in an action-packed incident in Christchurch last night.

Police were called to Linwood about 6.20pm after a dog ran on to Cashel St and was hit by a car.

Acting Sergeant Soames Crowther said a man was walking four dogs, none of which had leads, when a puppy ran on to the road and was run over. The dog's owner then got into an argument with the motorist. When police arrived, another dog bolted on to the road and was hit by another car.

Crowther said that while the dog owner was being arrested after arguing with police, one of his other dogs bit a police officer on the leg.

A second man, who attempted to intervene after his friend was arrested, was arrested for disorderly conduct.

"People need to have their dogs on leashes, especially at night," Crowther said.

The two dogs hit by cars were being treated at an after-
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« Reply #71 on: August 18, 2010, 01:06:37 am »


Ship's captain drunk

By PAUL O'ROURKE - The Timaru Herald | 5:00AM - Tuesday, 17 August 2010

WHAT shall we do with the drunken skipper?

That was the question for port authorities in Wellington late last week when a frequent visitor to the Port of Timaru, the cargo ship Tasman Pathfinder, arrived. The vessel was forced to halt her voyage in Wellington after the master was found to be intoxicated.

The ship had left Timaru the day before and as she entered Wellington's CentrePort, pilots notified Maritime New Zealand of their concerns.

Maritime New Zealand would not name the master yesterday but confirmed he was intoxicated. It is understood he is a Korean national and has been stood down.

Sophie Hazelhurst, a spokeswoman for Maritime New Zealand, said from Wellington the authority was advised last Thursday of concerns about the master's ability to safely operate the vessel.

"Maritime New Zealand staff visited the ship and found the master was not fit for duty." Contact was made with the vessel's owner and they voluntarily tied the ship up in Wellington until a replacement master could be flown out from Japan.

Ms Hazelhurst said the following day the vessel owners contacted the authority to see if the ship could proceed to Tauranga if the existing master could demonstrate he was fit for duty.

"We agreed on that condition and again visited the vessel and established the master was fit for that duty. He then safely took the vessel to Tauranga where Maritime safety staff there and port authorities were advised of the situation.

"A replacement master has now been flown out and the ship is due to depart Tauranga tomorrow," she said yesterday.

Ms Hazelhurst said the authority was not involved in any sort of disciplinary action. That would be left to the vessel's owners.

She said it was a rare incident and the port company had done the right thing in preventing the vessel from sailing and letting the authority know.

The 177m long Tasman Pathfinder is a general cargo vessel of 17,331 gross tonnes and carries cargo in and out of New Zealand and onto the South Pacific and Asia for Swire Shipping. Swires in Auckland would not discuss the matter, simply saying it had been resolved.

The vessel is owned by the marine transport company Osaka Asahi Kaiun, of Japan.

Maritime New Zealand is also undertaking an inquiry into an incident at Timaru on June 18, where it is understood a pilot fell into the sea when crossing from a ship to a pilot boat.


http://www.stuff.co.nz/timaru-herald/news/4030161/Ships-captain-drunk
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Im2Sexy4MyPants
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« Reply #72 on: August 18, 2010, 01:39:24 am »

PUT him in the long boat till he's sober
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« Reply #73 on: August 18, 2010, 02:25:25 pm »

While scrolling posts and seeking opportunities to contribute in cordial, polite and respectful manner, I encountered at the end of one of DAZZAMC's posts the following................

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Elevated beyond worth to Admin Staff status and showered with honours as an absolutely fabulously incredibly shit-hot member, he plunders the genius of Albert Einstein and would make it his own..........the act of a snake-in-the-grass, a vandal intent on the rape and pillage of scholarship. The single saving grace in this lamentable episode is that two quotation sites declare the quotation to be correct in detail.
How apt that I encountered it as post #31 in the topic DUMBFUCK OF THE WEEK.

Biggles, Prime
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« Reply #74 on: September 01, 2010, 07:17:27 pm »



http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/video.cfm?c_id=2&gal_objectid=10670312&gallery_id=113605
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