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ROFLMAO: amen and hallelujah, praise the lord…


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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« on: September 28, 2017, 05:38:05 pm »


from The Washington Post....

God has sent us a judge. Hallelujah.

Roy Moore's triumph is a ray of sunshine for those of
us who'd like to restore stoning to our legal system.


By GARRISON KEILLOR | 2:18PM EDT - Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Roy Moore speaks at a campaign rally in Alabama on Monday. — Photograph: Scott Olson/Getty Images.
Roy Moore speaks at a campaign rally in Alabama on Monday. — Photograph: Scott Olson/Getty Images.

THE TRIUMPH of former judge Roy Moore in Alabama's Republican Senate primary was a ray of sunshine for those of us who'd like to restore stoning to our legal system and remove the curse of profanity once and for all from our country. Scripture is very clear: “Thou shalt not swear.” But God's chosen party, the Republican Party, has waffled on this issue, as it has on the issue of adultery and obedience to parents and observance of the Sabbath and the engraving industry. And that is why our country today is on the verge of destruction. The signs are everywhere. Judge Moore is the only man who dares say so.

In Deuteronomy, God makes it clear that a rebellious child should be brought before the elders and stoned to death. It's there in black and white. We ignore these things at our peril. Establishment Republicans and a great many Christians have adopted the leftist “Let him who is without sin throw the first stone” approach to the law, which would produce utter anarchy — sinlessness as a requirement for service on a jury — and Judge Moore of Alabama is a prophet in our time, calling us to return to God's Word.

Democrats are fine with the Beatitudes — “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” and all that — but blessing people is no substitute for upholding God's standards, and there are people in spiritual poverty who express that by taking the Lord's name in vain, or by shopping on Sunday, or disobeying their parents, or by coveting their neighbor's wife, and if we don't punish sin, then sin will overrun the nation, as it has done already. That is why Judge Moore is not a Beatitudes guy but a Ten Commandments man. The law is the law.

“Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.” It couldn't be clearer. And our country is flooded with them. Currency, photo IDs, the Sunday rotogravure, high school yearbooks, television and movies, National Geographic. And the iPhone, an abomination to the Lord. Liberal theologians can try to talk this away but God has made it clear that when you print, or engrave, a picture, you are violating His law. You can draw or paint whatever you'd like, but when you make copies, your soul is in danger. Xerox, beware.

Judge Moore has taken the high road on the issue of homosexuality. The establishment churches have turned a blind eye, and he has been a voice in the wilderness. But that is only one evil and there are a host of them, profanity being one of the most prevalent and insidious.

We have weapons we can use in the war against profanity, if we choose to use them. The very same algorithms that produce graven images on iPhones can be reversed and used to detect cursing anywhere nearby. The phone can be programmed to sound an alarm and to send powerful electrical currents into the body of the malefactor and render him or her inert and insensate so that he or she can be handed over to the elders for stoning. Your establishment Republicans believe in light stoning, using handfuls of gravel, but Scripture is clear about this: We must use rocks so that the stoning results in death.

If we create stoning grounds in the centers of our cities and we publicly execute those who are guilty of rebelliousness, adultery, engraving, shopping on Sunday and cursing, you will see America become great again, assuming you are not one who will be executed.

Let us be honest here. There are too many people in this country. You know it and I know it. When we reduce the excess population by stoning and become a nation of 10 million or 15 million, this country will be a paradise. You'll be able to drive and not languish in traffic. No waiting for tee times. Our enemies will be gone, all of them, bonked to death, and we will gain their homes and their wives and their cleaning ladies. It will be perfect.


• Garrison Keillor is an author and radio humorist whose Washington Post columns began in 2016, after he left his radio show, “A Prairie Home Companion”. The column, he says, aims to be “funny, cheerful, firmly set in the present, written in American”. He lives in St. Paul, Minnesota.

__________________________________________________________________________

A window into the past history of Roy Moore…

  • Was removed from the state Supreme Court for refusing to obey binding rulings — twice — including most recently for refusing to obey the federal legalization of same-sex marriage.









__________________________________________________________________________

Related to this topic:

 • VIDEO: Roy Moore declares victory

 • Roy Moore's thoroughly unique extremism

 • VIDEO: A window into the Alabama campaign trail with Roy Moore

 • Roy Moore's victory speech got very little live coverage on cable news


https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/god-has-sent-us-a-judge-hallelujah/2017/09/27/97789364-a3a7-11e7-8cfe-d5b912fabc99_story.html
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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2017, 05:38:54 pm »


HILARIOUS....where do American righties drag these nutty religious kooks up from?





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Donald
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« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2017, 05:43:15 pm »

Ahhhh.....hang on...let's just not rush into a decision here........would that mean that a person found guilty of being a demented lefty gay rail lablourer could be stoned to death🙄
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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2017, 05:44:19 pm »


Roy Moore is ABSOLUTE PROOF that righties are FUCKED-IN-THE-HEAD.
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Donald
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« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2017, 05:48:09 pm »

Neva erd of I'm...but if he's a mate of yours...he's an enemy of mine 😉
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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2017, 06:20:52 pm »


Roy Moore is a Republican.

Therefore, Roy Moore is ABSOLUTE PROOF that righties are FUCKED-IN-THE-HEAD.
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Donald
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« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2017, 06:31:29 pm »

Hey..as far as I am concerned to can fuck him where you like...but in private please😎
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Kiwithrottlejockey
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« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2017, 06:52:47 pm »


Hilarious that righties in America are still wallowing in dark-ages beliefs, eh?

No wonder the federal government of Donald Trump and the GOP are so dysfunctional.

Look on the bright side....the dysfunctional current President and Government of the USA will be hastening America's downfall to former top-dog superpower.

Isn't that a real good reason to celebrate the fucked-up state of American righties? I reckon it is.
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aDjUsToR
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« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2017, 11:18:11 pm »

Interesting how KTJ never criticises actual theocracies. You know, where they hack people to death in the village square and women have half the value of a man in court (and the list of other  real attrocities goes on and on). Nothing. Just crickets.
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Donald
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« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2017, 08:01:14 am »

Yeah...I've seen this condition before..it's "cabin fever"...he needs to get out more🙄
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aDjUsToR
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« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2017, 08:37:24 pm »

In spite of the arguable battiness of the Christian beliefs, Christians generally do a lot of charity work around the world. Does Islam? (as far as I'm aware, they only help Muslims) Does Hinduism? How about the Salvation Army and all the other Christian charities that serve people regardless of their race or religion?
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